A Driver Can Call For Public Property Destruction But Cannot Ask You for Fare

People ask me 'why purple line strangler?'.
I reply 'because of it's double meaning'.
They retort '...huh?'

Like an idiot I engage their stupidity 'because of the purple line and because my names is Max like the trains here and because it sounds good and because it's symbolic of the subculture of Portland's transit system-the fans, the throwaways, the bloggers, the tweeters, the activists, the groups, the observers, the complainers, the thinkers, the comedians, the protestors, and the daily riders.'

They usually reply with 'oh' or just leave the conversation.

The passion surrounding this transit system is a giant circle jerk. A self pleausre. An indulgence that will never be satisfied. The Purple Line Strangler is my mocking-neigh-my acceptance that all of us who identify issues with Portland's transit system will not live to see the day those issues are resolved. In effect, no matter which gender or sexual preference we assign ourselves today, the transit system in this region is a broken system by design and as such will never be fixed to satisfy our comfort. We are in fact stroking our giant dongs with bright purple balls, long since having blue balls, now we are at the critical mass of strokage- we've gone from blue to purple. We are idiots. We are haters of ourselves. We love the slave/master relationship of this transit system. We love it. We stroke our nipples. We whisper the name of it with orgasmic shuddering....'trimet'... and we stroke our giant massive purple-level-critical blue ballage, waiting for release. Release that will never come (that's what she said).

And this time she is correct!

Simple google/youtube/twitter/facebook/instagram/oregonlive research will show us this transit system is designed to provide us pain, dissappointment, soul damage, carnage, hatred, economic suppression, racial discrimination, mobility mockery ****WHY ARE THE ELEVATORS ALWAYS BROKEN???????!!!!!****;

Our subculture, no, YOUR subculture prides itself on criticizing the transit baffoonery. To the ends of what exactly? A group that is supposedly an advocate for "rights" of the riders? What in world are all of you smoking? As riders we have no rights to anything this transit system assumes to provide. We have no right to anything more than basic transportation from station or stop one to station or stop two. Maybe we have the right to not die in between. MAYBE. But with a bit more google searching and youtube research I found...

Trimet's safety committee is a farce. They supposedly care about driver safety. Supposedly they care about passenger safety. This is bull. Why is it bull? Because a very public driver has publically called for the city to actually kill cyclists. It made the local news. Did the driver get fired? Nope. This person was assigned to the FUCKING SAFETY COMMITTEE. Not only that, but this driver has also called for the public to DESTROY PUBLIC PROPERTY. That sounds like quality safety material does it not?

How again does these jokesters think they are making their drivers safe? making their riders safe? making the public safe? Can't do that with the calls for death and destruction. They literally contradict their mission statement and literally no one says anything and literally that driver is out there somewhere driving a killing machine filled with pending potential victims. Possibility? Yes. Probability? Not likely. Though don't let this fool you...

Driver obesity.

All I'm going to say about this topic is the following: when an organization of trimet's level and resources cares about their employee's physical health the rate of deaths and the statistics of obesity amongst those drivers would not be as high as it is. My source is simply standing at a bus stop. I counted 12 drivers, all of whom were beyond obese. I would guage them as morbidly obsese. Do we want our drivers having a heart attack while driving us over the bridge? Doubt it. How is this safe for us or for them? It's not. Where are these advocates for "rights" again? NOWHERE.

It's all a farce. All of it.

Enjoy the witty comments. Enjoy the ranting blogs. Enjoy the pain and suffering dispatched over the airwaves on A DAILY BASIS. Enjoy all of this for free as of March 2017 since apparently THEIR FARE SYSTEM IS MESSED UP BEYOND REPAIR THEY ARE ALLOWING FREE RIDES AS NOT TO CAUSE ASSAULTS ON THIER DRIVERS. How sweet.

Should one find a fault with this transit system do us all a favor by keeping it to yourself. You can be like some of those tweeters by making fun of it or whatever but trimet doesn't fix anything. Your energy and time is wasted brainstorming fixes because those fixes won't ever get fixed. A simple google search brings up tweets and dispatch calls that at any given time there are only four mechancis on shift. And how many are working on weekends or holidays? ZERO.

But hey, this is all my observations. I don't know anyone on the inside. I don't associate with anyone working for this system. I am simply a person who likes buses and trains and cities. I do not ride the bus. This is my diary or sorts. My rant diary. My mental puke of these observations that no one will probably ever read. Would the subculture be as passionate or exist at all if trimet was top tier on all fronts? Could trimet be so good in all aspects that the subculture would disappear? Is there a subculture present because there are so many problems with trimet? Who knows. But the answers lie in the google searches, the twitter feeds, the bloggers, the youtubes, the news articles, the drama on the airwaves, and constant struggle between the belts of the drivers and their big fat bellies.

- Love & Guns

Max Wes, The Purple Line Strangler (blog post writer)

The Assassination of Neil McFarlane, King of Transit and Leader of Development

My psychic told me about a dream she had. I visited her the other day to get a feel for where I'm going wrong in my hunt for a new career. She does a lot of talking, mostly I ignore her breathy verbiage; she drops 'fuckin' noodled 'im' and my attention snapped back to what she was rambling about. Being a transit rider she is constant and consistent with quips about shyte service, rude employees, abusive badged persons, and crazies galore on 'her Maxie' (the damn MAX line near her shop).

She dreamt the head of Trimet was "opened" on a bus in the middle of morning rush hour. She cascaded into vivid detail about the frantic atmosphere of the bus and the steam coming from the argument between N.M. and his attacker, a simple-looking man in pitch black clothing, and overall generic in appearance; a parrot adorning the glove on his dirty hand.

Two movements to the throat, a gesture up the gut, and game over for Neil was her summary.

It was then I had conclusive evidence she was filled with stinky shit, cuz if she were at all any bit in the know she would realize PDX has recently graduated from knives to grenades.

Bus or rail, grenades sorta mean your shift's over.

Also she's full of it because we all know Neil never rides a bus, so he's safe for all eternity.

Long live the King. May he reign for 0.000001% of a millennia.

Love & Guns
- Max Wes, the Purple Line Strangler (blog post writer)

When Your #TriMet Bus or Train Pulls Away From You Like Your Last Tinder Date...

Running for that bus or train that's about to take off without you for the fifth time this week and it's only Tuesday? Well this selfie stick (below) gives you nearly 40 inches (that's what she said) of "not today #trimet operative!"

That's right, those days of watching the bus' ass fade into the hazy Portland sunset are somewhat over. You see, the #trimet's SOP policy thingie is they can't drive off with objects jutting from their vehicle's doors.

Selfie stick. Objects jutting from doorways. I'll let you crunch the numbers.

Valid fare is still required though... RESIST!



Love & Guns

- Max Wes, the Purple Line Strangler (blog post writer)

#TriMet's Hop Fastpass Set to Take Over the World, Kill Millions

Full disclosure: I don't ever plan to use the Hop Fastpass sytem.

Fuller disclosure: you're an idiot if you roll on tha #trimet's using Hop but without a paper ticket as backup fare. 

Technology fails and #transit fails even more. Carry a paper transfer with you at all times. Think of it as the condom for the #transit world. (these hashtags are auto populating cuz my autocorrect. Deal with it.)

A non-validated ticket is like $2.50 Trump USD. As of 2017 it is valid until it is validated and that validated stamp expires. $2.50 is a cheap insurance plan when the alternative is your iPhone 22 takes a dump into a pile of vomit on the train floor shorting out your apps that proved you bought a day pass... Just as the fare inspector boards your train. OMG whatever would you do? Likely you'll still be cited for invalid or non-existent fare so this scenario doesnt make sense.

But let's just pretend you bought a day pass with an app and just as the train is pulling in (that's what she said) your phone exploded totally obliterating your proof of valid fare. Your train stops and it's doors open and there stands a fare inspector. Well if you're carrying a paper transfer you're in good shape, not 24 hour fitness good but still, OK shape.

Anyways so this post bores me now so imma let you go. 

Love & Guns.

-Max Wes, the Purple Line Strangler (blog post writer)